If I was my mother's daughter I would have:

(these are things I would be / have if I was like my mother or even a semblance of the woman)
  1. 1.
    A master's degree by now and perhaps working on a PhD proposal (I'm 26)
  2. 2.
    A glistening résumé
  3. 3.
    Quit my job and created jobs by now
  4. 4.
    Hella life savings
  5. 5.
    Disposable income
  6. 6.
    A retirement fund
  7. 7.
    A closet that just keeps on giving
  8. 8.
    A "in-case-I-get-robbed" fund
  9. 9.
    Emergency money hiding in obscure locations like I do tampons
  10. 10.
    Been to church more than a handful of times in the past 6 years
  11. 11.
    Very light complexion
  12. 12.
    No pseudo-British accent
  13. 13.
    Moved somewhere where it's always warm or a warm blanket and fuzzy socks are in close range
  14. 14.
    A collection of high end coats for a fraction of the price
  15. 15.
    A 20 something year old leather wallet that looks a year old at most
  16. 16.
    Moved somewhere where it's always warm or a warm blanket and fuzzy socks are in close range
  17. 17.
    A brain for numbers
  18. 18.
    Have published several academic books
    With no hidden lewd jokes or dreamy tales,actual academic books that people with brain cells study
  19. 19.
    An address that is not oceans away from my mother
  20. 20.
    My mother on speed dial
  21. 21.
    A prayer group
  22. 22.
    A bible
  23. 23.
    Never sipped a drop of alcohol
  24. 24.
    Never stepped foot in a: nightclub / bar / burlesque show / a Drake concert / any place where Jesus has not walked
  25. 25.
    Donated a fraction of my salary to the church
  26. 26.
    Lost 50 lbs and counting by now
  27. 27.
    Healthy habits
  28. 28.
    Never kissed a boy
  29. 29.
    Been married with a child on the way...or close by now
  30. 30.
    Incomparable resilience
  31. 31.
    No grudges
  32. 32.
    An unapologetic persona
  33. 33.
    Humility
  34. 34.
    A spirit that never dies
  35. 35.
    A living Will
  36. 36.
    No fxcks to give