REASONS ABIGAIL FISHER DIDN'T GET INTO UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS

  1. Because she is ten years old
  2. Because her application essay was written in crayons
  3. Because she isn't like super smart or anything and is clearly lame AF on a personal level and likely came off as a little shit in her interview.
  4. REDACTION: she is being used as a face for a campaign to end affirmative action spearheaded by this fucking guy-Edward Blum-ex stock broker and John du Pont impersonator so fuck this guy.