RECIPE: AUTHENTIC NEW ENGLAND LOBSTER ROLL
Got some lobster and always wanted to try out a real lobster roll? Follow these steps!
- •Put on your Patriots jersey
- •Slightly deflate the lobster. This will make it easier to fit your hand around it.Can't murder a lobster if he keeps getting away! Ha!
- •Steam the lobster, then mercilessly break it's body open to reveal the sweet flesh.
- •Pull out the meat. Put the mayonnaise on it's skin.IT PUTS THE MAYONNAISE ON ITS SKIN
- •Put the concoction of entrails and lard into a heartily processed bun.
- •Descend into your Satanic ritual chamber.
- •Offer the lobster roll to our Dark Lord Bill Belichick.