I'D HAVE MORE MONEY IF I HADN'T BOUGHT THESE STUPID THINGS

  1. A Magic bullet
    I know they're great and whatever but man, they don't last.
  2. Those jeans that never fit me
    I didn't have time to try them on at the store, bought them anyway, found out when I got home they were too short, didn't take them back and barely wore them.
  3. A Book to learn Spanish on your own
    Who was I kidding?
  4. All those great special offer subscriptions that you can cancel at any time
    I need to remember to take care of that. Next month.
  5. That buttermilk carton that's been sitting in my fridge for months
    I'd be $3.99 richer and I wouldn't feel guilty every time I open the fridge.