LIES I DON'T BELIEVE ANYMORE

You and I both know what you really mean. Let's stop pretending.
  1. It's only a five minute walk
    It's never a five minute walk
  2. We have only a few left in stock
    I shouldn't take the time to think about it and buy it right away then, right?
  3. On my way
    Usually means they haven't left their home yet
  4. The cheque is in the mail.
    Who uses cheques anymore anyway
  5. Size doesn't matter
  6. It wasn't me
    Unless you're Shaggy, I'm sure it was you