I'VE BEEN HAVING AN OFF WEEK

this list is 100% bitching, read on at your own risk
  1. I'm not normally "that girl".
  2. I don't freak out on my birthday about getting older because I know plenty of people that didn't get the privilege and I cherish it.
  3. And yet.
  4. I can't shake this crappy gloom that I've been trying to push out from under the past few days.
  5. And it's not just that, ok FINE, I'm 24 now and I'm freaking out a bit.
    I've got these tiny, deepening lines EVERYWHERE and I moisturizer compulsively?? I am so betrayed???
  6. It's that I still haven't figured out what I want to do with my life. Which means I can't go back and finish my degree.
  7. Which leaves me still waitressing, a job that despite being good at it, is not something I enjoy and leaves me exhausted to the point of not being able to do anything I actually enjoy.
  8. (when was the last time I got to go rock climbing? or went to the conservatory to see the new butterflies?)
  9. It's that I still live with my parents, because I'm in debt and my best friend is a flake and I'm not close enough to live with anyone else aside from her.
  10. Also, I'm bummed because I'm on two different acne medications, neither of which have kicked in for me yet.
    I've actually broken out more and it's painful to cover it up but I can't wear no makeup because it's too awful not too?
  11. Alright and here's another cliche.
  12. I'm a little gloomy because I'm single.
  13. And my friends are all in these HEALTHY relationships, which shows me exactly what I'm missing.
  14. And I genuinely don't think I'll find anyone.
  15. Ok and look, I've eaten too much pasta the past two weeks. I'm bloated and unhappy about it.
  16. And I think I might be the kind of ugly that people deny when asked about it because I genuinely DO have a good personality and they don't want to hurt my feelings.
  17. Alright. I'm done.