TONIGHT:

  1. I've been doing fine, I've been completely occupied with my beautiful life.
  2. I mean, I was going through the worst time of my life but I pulled myself out of it. Cut out the bad stuff and made new friends that teach me how to cook and play board games and genuinely want the best things for me.
  3. I quit my waitressing job and I work at Lush for the Holidays. It's amazing. It's the first time in my life that I've been surrounded by coworkers that are supportive and positive. Plus, I smell wonderful. All of the time.
  4. My best friend and I even grew closer together right as we were about to fall apart.
  5. Everything is great.
  6. And yet.
  7. I am in bed, warm and ready for a full, happy day tomorrow.
  8. But all I'm able to think about is you.
  9. And how you were the first guy that ever pulled my arm around him when we slept, making me understand why guys like it so much.
  10. The coffee you made in the morning, so good that it left me less angry about being awake at 6 in the morning.
  11. The way you asked me to kiss you on top of a Ferris Wheel and called the Dalmatian on the ground a "fire dog".
  12. And I am thinking about how these times where I am less angry at you for leaving me and more sad are getting further and further apart but they are still there.
  13. And I am never ready for them.
  14. Because no matter how busy my days are.
  15. No matter how often I keep myself moving and loving and smiling.
  16. You still left me without a word.
  17. How can someone get over that?