Why Am I Here: An Existential Crisis
*Brought to you by the countless nights that I cannot sleep*
- •To save the human race
- •To see if it is in fact possible for a person to watch all seasons of Seinfeld in a week
- •To provide scientific research on just how long someone can go without sex before their genitals disintegrate
- •To even out the success ratio on Tinder
- •For cheese puffsWhich are too pure for this world, fight me
- •To take professional photos of Trump's impeachment.
- •For Lights new album
- •& Stephanie Danler's next novel
- •To be the one person that still doesn't give a shit about the Kardashians
- •...Did I mention cheese puffs???