WHY I ENJOY MAKING GUYS CRY
I'm not a monster. I don't strive to hurt good people. In general, however, I only know a handful of good men. The rest can kiss my ass and here's why.
- •That thing they do where they peace out without saying anything and if you call them out on it they use it as a validation for telling everyone that you're "crazy".And then they come crawling back (I swear to God they always come back.) and you know what? I make 'em cry.
- •When you're having a bad day and you're just trying to pick up ice cream from the store and some dude you don't even know tries to tell you to smile and when you ignore him he keeps being creepy?I hate this. I don't know any girls that have done this to a dude before? So guess what? I turn to them and say, "I'm out of your league regardless of if I'm smiling or not. Thanks for the tip though." And walk away. Make him need ice cream, too.
- •You know how sometimes you're in the mood to have sex but not be the one that does all of the work, like you always have to? But then the dude says you're being a "boring lay" and it's like??"Well I was trying to be polite but sure. I'll get on top, though we both know there's not much to ride." Let him masturbate with his tears.
- •The thing that gets me so heated is when a guy finds out I like Star Wars or punk music or really just fucking ANYTHING that's not makeup/shopping and he hates this so much that he starts asking obscure questions that NOBODY would know without google. WHY.So I says to him, I says, "why does me liking ___ clearly make you feel so emasculated? And anyway, I would have thought that you'd just be used to that feeling by now." And then I go back to enjoying my shit while he cries.
- •When a guy is being nice to me and then tries to get me to have sex and I say no and he flips it on me by saying, "you're not even my type".That's when I go, "Oh. Too bad, because I was just joking. I wanted to have sex. Never mind." And then I LEAVE.
- •When you're getting to know a guy and you like him but you have to play subtle games to keep him interested but like ?? Why. Guys don't have to play games?At this point I just don't play games. And if they lose interest in me, well when I see them again I give 'em my best, "I'm sorry but do I know you??" 10/10 they'll go home and cry.
- •When a guy says something mean to one of my friends at the bar. Whether it's crude or degrading or she isn't their type and they let her know. I'm not having it.So I use my special ability of finding the one thing that a person is self conscious about and just say it out loud. I only use it on the deserving but it is so fucking satisfying. "Shut your face, eyebrows." I say. They laugh but later that night they'll stare at themselves in the mirror and ponder just shaving them off altogether.
- •I could probably go on for days with this list. I have known guys so genuinely kind and sweet and loyal that they make up for the rest. But I deal with a lot of creeps. This list was for them.