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  1. Number of smiles brought to people's faces as a result of something I've said or done
  2. Number of times I've made someone's day brighter
  3. Number of hugs I've given and received
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(And in some cases, maybe judge a little)
  1. Partner Facebook accounts
    SuzeAndJim Smith. I honestly don't understand this one. It's not a cost-saving thing. Is it a trust thing? Like maybe Suze isn't comfortable with the idea that Jim had his very own Facebook friends and messenger and all that? There may well be a logical, non-controlly reason, but it hasn't occurred to me yet. Is it that Jim can't be bothered to respond to all posts his mom tags him in and Suze gets stuck doing it, so she might as well get credit for it? I really don't understand.
  2. "Well-Qualified Lessees"
    No. The lessee is either qualified or unqualified for the spectacular deal being offered. Requirements for qualification might be especially high, but that doesn't change the fact that if someone is qualified for something, that person is qualified. The car commercials get on my nerves for many reasons, and this is right up the top of the list. It's like saying something is very unique. Why?
  3. Bacon in everything
    This seems to be going away, finally, and I'm okay with that. For quite a while, though, everything edible was considered better with bacon. I love bacon. It's one of my favorite foods. But I don't want it in my drinks and I don't want it in my desserts.
  4. Salted caramel
    Why? Caramel is perfect as it is. I don't understand how adding salt is supposed to improve it. I've tried all sorts of salted caramel things, and mostly end up wishing I could taste the stuff through all the salt.
I always hate having a cold. They seem to hit me harder than they do most people I know, and my colds always seem to last longer. They always suck. This one is horrible for these reasons:
  1. No adult activities
    So there's this guy. We dated casually for a little over a year, and he broke things off when he and another woman he was dating decided to be exclusive. Turns out I had stronger feelings for him than I realized. Also turns out their relationship wasn't as good a fit as they thought and they've split up. He and I are seeing each other again, and yesterday was supposed to be our first sleepover date. I am not, however, at my sexiest at this time, so that must wait.
  2. Sniffling
    This cold has had a lot of sniffling activity. I hate it. Sniffling is sucking snot back up into your head. How disgusting is that? The alternative is letting it dribble out your nose, which is also revolting. Ugh.
  3. The voice
    I've passed the five-minute window of a cold where my voice sounds all sexy. Now I sound like a vodka-swilling donkey with a three-pack-a-day smoking habit. Very sultry.
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I work in customer service in a major grocery chain, and I love my job. My store is incredible, the overwhelming majority of our customers are genuinely nice people, and my team is pretty fantastic. This is truly my favorite of all my jobs. No matter how much you love your job, though, there will always be those few things that make you crazy.
  1. Reusable bags
    They never look like this. They're usually dirty, there's almost always a pile of receipts and shopping lists in the bottom of at least one, and more times than not, they advertise a competitor. Also, they don't fit into our bagging area, so they take up room on the register counter that I don't really have to spare. The worst thing about this particular hatred is the guilt, because I care about the earth and about recycling, and I use reusable bags, too. But oh, how I hate bagging into them.
  2. "I'd like to speak to a manager."
    Yes, ma'am. I AM the customer service manager. I understand that you're upset, but policy will not allow me to take a coupon that expired nine months ago, nor can I give you a cash refund on a product that you did not buy here, and I know you did not buy it here because this is a grocery store and that is a pair of shoes. I apologize for the inconvenience, and I'd be happy to look for another way to meet your needs. You certainly can call corporate if you'd like. Let me get that number for you.
  3. Yes, I'm sure there's no more in the back
    I apologize for the inconvenience, but we are temporarily sold out of water, bread, batteries, charcoal, and beer. Yes, we will be getting more in as soon as possible, but the hurricane that's been off the coast for the last five days has slowed things down a bit and the shoppers who were here earlier than five minutes before our widely-advertised emergency closing time have already bought everything we have. Also, for some reason I truly cannot grasp, they've also bought all the ice cream.
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These are the shows I watch when I'm sad or ill or restless or just not sure what I want to watch.
  1. Friends
    I've seen every episode so many times.
  2. Coupling
    Again, every episode, over and over.
  3. The Big Bang Theory
    I want to know someone who knows a Sheldon so I can laugh at their stories without having to deal with Sheldon firsthand.
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Li.st reminds me, in all the best ways, of the early days of LiveJournal
  1. The support the members give each other
  2. The emotional honesty and vulnerability that the members are willing to show
  3. The acceptance that's so easy to find here
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  1. Organize my bedroom
    I'd forgotten my last-minute packing frenzy while I was on vacation. Those frantic moments as I desperately tried to find my contact juice and the left sparkly black ballet flat and the SPF 100 sunscreen had all drifted out of my mind. When I came home and opened my bedroom door, my first thought was, "They only robbed my bedroom?"
  2. Put the clean clothes away
    My least favorite part of doing the laundry. I will fold socks all day long and be happy while I do it, but I really don't want to have to put even a single pair away. It's soul crushing.
  3. Wash clothes for work
    No matter how hard I wish for it, I still do not own a self-cleaning uniform shirt.
  4. Make dinner
    No idea what I want, though. Except I may have just developed a bizarre craving for beanie weenies. I should just go with it.
This is a list of all the bad things about my cruise
  1. It ended.
I took a two-night cruise to the Bahamas, with one day in Freeport, to see if cruises might be something I'd like, and also if a vacation in the Bahamas might be something I'd enjoy b
  1. I have not developed some sort of adult-onset seasickness
    $15 worth of anti-seasickness stuff and I never even opened the bag. Excellent. I can definitely consider a longer cruise.
  2. You don't have to spend a fortune to have a great time
    Thank you, Groupon. $149 for a two-night cruise for two was a fantastic deal, and I'll be looking for Groupons for my next cruise, too.
  3. I don't need the fancy-pants dining option
    We went with the standard dining room option the first night and loved everything except one of our table-mates. (More on her later.) The rest of the time we grazed at the buffet, and that was fabulous, too. I don't regret not doing the expensive fine-dining thing.
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  1. I remembered to check my oil
  2. My car needs oil
  3. I own zero units of oil
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