My Favorite Nickelodeon Romances
Cartoons. Whether you think they're responsible for the rotting minds of American youths or an invaluable vehicle for introducing life concepts to children, they've shown their staying power. One such enduring concept: young love. I was born and raised a Nick kid, so pardon the partisan neglect of Disney as I waltz down memory lane in the late 90s.
- •Arnold and "It Girl" Helga PatakiBullying. Cruelty. Ridicule. The hallmarks of any great love. Only a tad stereotypical about an aloof male and a boy-crazy female 🙄 but I'll let it go because it was twenty years ago, and I'm told times change. Besides, Arnold's football-shaped dome gave me hope that I, too, could one day warrant a woman's idolatry.
- •Doug Yancey Funnie and Patti MayonnaiseFrom the geniuses who brought us "Killer Tofu" and "Bangin' on a Trash Can," came this once-in-a-generation romance. A milquetoast reflection of myself, Doug inspired me with his courtship of Ms. Mayo. I mean, Porkchop and Skeeter definitely stole the show, as so many ancillary characters do, but their beady eyes and flirting was a treat to watch.
- •SpongeBob and Sandy*You might be wondering, why the asterisk? Well, it's hotly debated whether these two wackos have romantic feelings for one another or not. But that doesn't stop their on-screen dynamic from being infectious.
- •Howard and Betty DeVilleYou could make a case for any of the Rugrats parental pairings, but Howie and Betty are just too cute. You know that one mom in your group of friends' moms who just gets shit done? That's Betty. And she's a feminist to boot. And who doesn't love a dutiful house husband? Polar opposites? Maybe. But they've got one adorable family.
- •Ginger Foutley and Darren PattersonLet's be real. We all wanted this. And in cartoons, we generally get what we want. Head gear or not, Darren was great. And in a world in which cartoon characters come in all shapes, species and colors, an interracial high school couple was a cool move on the show's part.
- •Rocko and everyoneIn arguably one of the dirtiest children's programs behind Ren and Stimpy (for proof, google College Humor's video on this subject), Rocko deserves an honorable mention both for being one of the network's biggest horn dogs, as well as never actually securing a love interest. Though he pines for his unavailable neighbor Melba Toast, his unrequited affection makes him all the sadder. Not to mention Heffer seems to cock block him on a semi-regular basis.