From the story of the guy who called police to say he was too high and found covered in Doritos.
  1. 10. A Taco Bell just opened right in your backyard.
  2. 9. The world around you looks exactly like a Cartoon Network show.
  3. 8. Doctors have determined that your blood is 10% Doritos dust.
  4. 7. You just wrote 420 reggae songs in the last three days.
  5. 6. Charlie Sheen just told you that you need help with your addiction.
  6. 5. Four words: swimming on dry land.
  7. 4. Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa just gave up weed because they just can't compete with you.
  8. 3. At one point, you space out so badly that you forget how to breathe.
  9. 2. It seems like every day you're making another non-sequitur Lincoln commercial.
  10. 1. You're actually finding Brooks Bannister's lists to be funny. (Expect lots of self-depreciation in these lists people.)