After 20 years of being a working mom who is good friends with her husband and her adult children, I'd suggest you do these.
  1. Marry your good friend. Once the gaga-ness of love fades into the rigor of daily mom life, your frienship will always be there.
  2. Always work one (maybe 2) days per week. You'll need and enjoy it. Put your career in the back seat but not in the garbage can
  3. Don't work full time as a mom, if you can. I did that, even though I worked in sales from a home office. Way too chaotic. Way too hard to enjoy your life, for your children and husband to enjoy your life, too. It's possible, but not enjoyable enough.
  4. Be the CEO of your household. That means organize and DELEGATE. Your husband is part co-equal, part employee when it comes to the household. Your being in charge helps lighten his thinking load and elevates your purpose— and gets things done.
  5. Have coffee in bed with your husband every morning. We get up at 6, have our coffee in bed and watch Joe Scarborough and my husband reads the paper. For a whole hour. It's become our enjoyable date time. I'd highly recommend it.
  6. Create time to just "be" with your kids. I worked- so my kids and I alone went out to dinner together a couple times a week to "be" with eachother at the dinner table. We'd talk, play word games and ask questions.If I didn't work, I would've lounged in my pjs for a few hours with them doing nothing- but talking, playing word games andeating snacks
  7. Choose your battles. Putting the cap on the toothpaste?.. Turning out the lights when you leave a room?.. I say blah blah blah. Dont even mention it. Go for the top 3 or 4 things, that's it. To everything else, pay no attention. Maybe just ask politely.
  8. Ask politely for what you want rather than complain about what you don't like. Theres a huge difference. One brings you closer as a family, the other drives a wedge. If your children see you asking politely, they'll copy :)
  9. Do things with your girlfriends often. Being CEO of your household lets you be in charge of your personal schedule.
  10. Pay the bills. Being CEO of your home lets you be in charge of the finances. Power's in money.... or in controlling the money :)