1. I'm still not over the trauma that was high school.
    It's going to take years of therapy.
  2. I'm afraid I won't know anyone.
    I seriously think I have that facial recognition disorder where I can't recognize people's faces.
  3. I have a root canal scheduled for that weekend.
    I can't reschedule.
  4. I wouldn't want everyone to be jealous of my super glamorous lifestyle, so I'll just stay home.
    With my cat.
  5. It's Shark Week and my DVR is full.
    I guess I should schedule a Dance Moms binging weekend.
  6. I've already Facebook stalked most of my classmates, so I already know what they've been up to.
    They can do the same if they want to know what I've been doing the last 20 years.
  7. I'm tired. I have a headache. I have cramps.
    Oops! I was answering my husband and typing at the same time. My bad.
  8. I have to PAY to catch up with my classmates?
    I have better things to spend my money on. Like a new Snuggie and cat Jamberries.