WHY I'M NOT GOING TO MY 20 YEAR CLASS REUNION
- •I'm still not over the trauma that was high school.It's going to take years of therapy.
- •I'm afraid I won't know anyone.I seriously think I have that facial recognition disorder where I can't recognize people's faces.
- •I have a root canal scheduled for that weekend.I can't reschedule.
- •I wouldn't want everyone to be jealous of my super glamorous lifestyle, so I'll just stay home.With my cat.
- •It's Shark Week and my DVR is full.I guess I should schedule a Dance Moms binging weekend.
- •I've already Facebook stalked most of my classmates, so I already know what they've been up to.They can do the same if they want to know what I've been doing the last 20 years.
- •I'm tired. I have a headache. I have cramps.Oops! I was answering my husband and typing at the same time. My bad.
- •I have to PAY to catch up with my classmates?I have better things to spend my money on. Like a new Snuggie and cat Jamberries.