10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT OWNING A SMALL DOG

I live with two yorkies
  1. 1.
    It's basically like taking care of a tiny hobo that can't talk.
  2. 2.
    You'll eventually have to wash poop off their shitty asses at some point. With your own real life hands.
  3. 3.
    You will be forced to share half of every meal with them. See attached photo.
  4. 4.
    They burp. I know, that's weird. Google it.
  5. 5.
    They'll lick your feet while you're having sex.
  6. 6.
    You will get snail trails of pee on your arm 1-4 times a day (applies to boy dogs with wet weiners, obvs).
  7. 7.
    They only barf on rugs, couches, beds, car seats or anything else that's a pain to clean.
  8. 8.
    They will fight and try to kill any knocking, dings or doorbell rings on the television set.
  9. 9.
    Microwaves are a major threat.
  10. 10.
    It's not uncommon to be woken up at 3am due to a fight that broke out between them and their reflection in a mirror.