"I block all this stuff out for a reason." #30Rock
  1. 14. "The sewer people stole my skateboard!"
  2. 13. "I seen a blind guy bite a police horse!"
  3. 12. "A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom!
  4. 11. "A crackhead breastfeeding a rat!"
  5. 10. "Our basketball hoop was a rib cage! A rib cage!"
  6. 9. "I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs!"
  7. 8. "I watched a prostitute stab a clown!"
  8. 7. "I've seen a hooker eat a tire!"
  9. 6. "I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. They were very drunk!"
  10. 5. "A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket® on the third rail of the G train!"
  11. 4. "I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it!"
  12. 3. "The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time!"
  13. 2. "Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!"
  14. 1. "A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's®!"