THINGS ABOUT BECOMING A NATURALIZED U.S. CITIZEN THAT AMERICANS MAY CARE TO KNOW ABOUT.

  1. You are required to state in writing and during the course of your immigration interview that you will bear arms on behalf of the United States.
    And when you are approved and assigned a date for your naturalization ceremony, you must confirm that you have not changed your mind in this matter.
  2. If you do not agree to bear arms for the United States, you will only be considered for citizenship if you can prove that it would be against your religion
  3. However, even if that is the case, you still need to agree to perform non-combatant services in the U.S. Armed Forces.
  4. You have to answer questions about your moral character such as: "Have you ever been A) a habitual drunkard? B) been a prostitute, or procured anyone for prostitution? C) sold or smuggled controlled substances, illegal drugs, or narcotics? D) been married to more than one person at a time? ETC.
    Ummm this seems to describe a statistically significant amount of American citizens.
  5. You will be asked whether you have "ever been a member of, or in any way associated (either directly or indirectly) with: A) The Communist Party? B) Any other totalitarian party? C) A terrorist organization?
    Bunching the communist party with terrorist organizations, seriously?
  6. You will be asked, in incredible detail, whether you had any association whatsoever with Nazi Germany, between the dates March 23, 1933 and May 8, 1945.
  7. You will be asked wether you have been abusive towards another human being, specifically, whether you were ever involved in A) Genocide B) Torture C) Killing, or trying to kill someone D) Badly hurting, or trying to hurt a person on purpose E) Forcing, or trying to force someone to have any kind of sexual contact or relations?
  8. You will be asked whether you have ever persecuted (either directly or indirectly) any person because of race, religion, national origin, membership in a particular social group, or political opinion?
  9. You will be asked to account for every single trip of more than 24 hours you have taken outside of the U.S. during the last 5 years and the total days you spent outside the U.S. during the last 5 years.
  10. Preceding the citizenship process, to obtain a green card, you have to prove that you have been vaccinated against hepatitis, tuberculosis, and, for women in their twenties, HPV.
    This was particularly low point in the process, where I actually felt like cattle.
  11. Naturalized Americans are required by the U.S. to give up their foreign citizenship(s). People who were born American, however, are allowed dual citizenship.
    Gradations of citizenship ahem.
  12. To finally obtain citizenship, you must take the Oath of Allegiance, in which you once again swear to bear arms, relinquish foreign citizenship, etc. and "take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation; So help me God." http://1.usa.gov/1OtH5aA