Disaster Scenarios I've Fantasized About

I just learned at dinner that not everyone has these!? Huh.
  1. I'm kidnapped by terrorists and forced to make a YouTube video renouncing America. How do I send a cryptic message about my location to my loved ones?
    Usually I insert some throw-away lie into my made-at-gunpoint speech that only my closest friends and family would notice as strange. Imbedded in that lie is a code revealing the coordinates of my prison bunker. America watches my story unfold, enthralled.
  2. The US economy crashes and the dollar loses all value. I've neglected to invest in gold, so have to resort to the only asset I carry with me: selling my body for food and shelter.
    I took an "Intro to Investing" night class at UCLA last year, and this was a truly comforting realization. If civilization starts to crumble, I still have a good 5 years to fall back on my body (maybe 8-10 if not in LA). This is not to make light of the horrors of prostitution. This is just honestly something I thought to myself while sitting in a classroom at night, learning about the futures market.
  3. "The Big One" hits LA and all normal channels of communication and power are down. I must somehow meet up with my family.
    I use my crank radio to listen for news, as a flashlight in the dark, and to power my phone. This is not a fantasy. This is simply practical planning. You can buy one here: http://amzn.to/1KrVJOS
  4. I get stuck in an elevator with a stranger during a blackout. Will we fall in love?
    Obviously we fall in love.