Things I Wish the 2nd Amendment Was About Instead of Guns

  1. Beer.
    Everyone has the right to bare beer! Open container laws for all! We'll sell beer at conventions — no I.D. necessary. You, little boy. You want a beer?! I won't even run a background check on you. This is what our forefathers wanted!!!!
  2. Bows & Arrows.
    Toddlers don't have the arm strength to accidentally kill their parents with a bow and arrow. If they do then they are probably superhuman and know what the fuck they're doing. If you want to commit a mass-arrowing (?) then you'd have to train for years in the art of archery like Katniss Everdeen and tbh I don't think mentally ill people have the patience for that.
  3. Tampons.
    I wish representatives were fighting for open carry laws for tampons because I'm tired of shoving them under my sleeves and bolting for the bathroom when I'm in public.