I am not a sports fan.
  1. Rudy
    As the first hobbit to be allowed to play, he is best remembered for breaking down racial barriers.
  2. Gronk
    I once saw this guy on Conan and I'm 80% sure he was a football player. There was another person there but I can't recall his name. I'd like to say it was smaller Gronk.
  3. Burt Reynolds
    He led a team of misfits and criminals to victory and he was nearly shot for it.
  4. Adam Sandler
    See Burt Reynolds except slightly worse.
  5. Peyton Manning
    As the most recent winner of the super bowl, he is probably still drinking that stupid bud light he got paid so much to endorse
  6. Friday Night Lights
  7. Calvin Johnson
    My brother has a fat head of this guy on the ceiling above his bed. I find this disturbing, who wants to wake up with someone staring down at you?
  8. Dwayne Johnson
    I know a few things about the rock, he was the champ before Cena existed, he has dual citizenship with Canada, scientists still believe his culinary skills to be the most accurate test for anosmia, and at some point he played football.
  9. Dan Marino
    Laces out!