Progression of a Wedding Dance Floor

  1. 1.
    Couples first dance, Father/Daughter dance, Mother/Son dance
  2. 2.
  3. 3.
    Uptown Funk
    This is played entirely too early. Only people on dance floor are Aunt Eileen (who requested it) and two of the grooms 3rd cousins who already had too many whiskey-gingers.
  4. 4.
    Another extremely current Top-40 selection; usually Flo Rida or a song that ft. Pitbull
    DJ, concerned about the lack of response from Uptown Funk, just knows that this one will get people flocking to that dance floor. Again, he is sadly mistaken. This type of song was made for an after 10pm dance floor.
  5. 5.
    90s throwback OR 00's throwback (crowd depending)
    DJ realizes that he has to give the people what they know and love before hitting them with the new stuff. More people put on the dance floor now. The DJ is starting to gain the youth's trust. Bride's grandma is sippin her coffee, watching today's "dance moves," and wondering what has happened to society.
  6. 6.
    Slow Dance - anniversary song
    This is CRUCIAL. People love interactive dances, plus it gets the older people on the dance floor who were otherwise apprehensive. Grandma/Grandpas are out on the floor now and there's no looking back. The youths are taking a break, getting another drink: also crucial.
  7. 7.
    HIT EM WITH THE 1-2 PUNCH. The older people are out on the dance floor and no one can resist the Electric Side, keep grandma out on the floor and if she needs some help with the moves, you be there for her.
  8. 8.
    1-2-3 PUNCH! These people won't know what hit them. All remaining stragglers on the outskirts of the dance floor will be forced to join by people on their Electric Slide high.
  9. 9.
    Whichever you don't choose, save for later in the night to keep people on their toes. People always wonder when either of these songs will play at weddings, so give them 1/2 of what they want early on and then string 'em along for a while.
  10. 10.
    DJ's Choice
    Put it on cruise control, you got these weddings guests in the palm of your hands, DJ.
  11. 11.
    Uptown Funk
    Because Aunt Eileen wanted it again.
  12. 12.
    Whichever wasn't played before. The perfect high note to end on.
  13. 13.
    Closing Time
    Fuck you, DJ.