FARM ANIMAL PUNS (MY FIRST ROUND AT PUNSLAM)

Last year I finished in second place at a Punslam (picture 8 Mile: basement bar, battle style, but with pun jokes). The topic I picked out of a hat was "Farm Animals" and I had about 20 minutes to think of two minutes worth of puns to perform. This, along with round 2 ( WRITING PUNS (MY SECOND ROUND AT PUNSLAM) ), got me into the semifinals.
  1. "So it's cuffing season and I was getting jealous of all my friends who have been fucking like rabbits-
  2. but I'm kinda sheepish-
  3. which led me to join Farmers Only Dot Com-
  4. I thought it would be fun to horse-
  5. around with some chicks-
  6. but I ended up looking like a pig-
  7. those that get too cocky-
  8. wind up being jackasses-
  9. but I already gave the site my credit card so I'm going to milk-
  10. it for all its worth before I chicken-
  11. out. Farmers Only Dot Com is the only place where people actually intend to type *ducking*-
  12. in messages. (I take a sip from my beer can, which is the brand HAMM'S) I wanted to come up here with an appropriate farm animal beverage, but the bar doesn't serve Colt-
  13. 45. And I considered Tiger-
  14. Lager, but I think HAMM'S-
  15. turned out to be the best choice (raise my can in a toast). Finally to the judges, I hope you score me as G.O.A.T."