IF I EVER WRITE A MEMOIR IT WILL PROBABLY BE CALLED

  1. It's Not Whether You Win Or Lose, It's Whether It Makes A Good Story Or Not
    My mofo motto.
  2. Chasing Fun
    My exhausting pursuit of happiness
  3. You Won't See Any Statues Of Me (or how I was a pioneer of online dating before it was socially acceptable)
    Yes, I was able to use MySpace to background check "winks"
  4. AIM To Please: a story of a boy who learned how to type through AOL Instant Messenger crushes
    Nobody types faster
  5. Behind the Lead Apron
    A woman I dated once accused me of having a "lead apron around my feelings" and I'll never make anybody forget it