DECISIONS WOMEN MAKE THAT DON'T DESERVE JUDGEMENT
These decisions weren't made easily. There is often a lot of inner turmoil involved. Let's show some understanding and support 💗
- •Working part timeOne of my Orthopedics attendings in med school casually said to me: "The problem with taking women is that they end up wanting to work part time once they have kids. It's a waste of training."This is one of the few reasons I decided against Ortho.
- •Working full timeThere are many reasons why women want to go back to working full time after they've had a baby. Whether it's for financial reasons or a desire for personal fulfillment, it's a hard decision. The last thing they need is to feel that people think they are a "bad mom".
- •Getting an epidural in laborWomen have different pain thresholds. It's ok to get an epidural to help you enjoy the labor process. It's ok to not get an epidural because you want to try natural labor. It's NOT OK when the father of the baby or the mother in law won't let my crying patient get an epidural!
- •Having a baby out of wedlockLife happens. It's okay! Being married before delivery does not guarantee a perfect family. An unmarried woman can still love, nurture, and protect her baby just fine.
- •Deciding not to continue breast feeding once they return to workYes, breastfeeding is great for both baby and mom. But tired moms should NOT be guilt tripped if it's just not happening for them. I've had patients who beat themselves up if they can't produce enough milk or can't pump as much as they'd Iike. New moms are already stressed and they don't need to feel inadequate or that they are a "bad mother." I wish breast-feeding fanatical women could see what their judgement and peer pressure do to some of my patients.
- •Terminating a pregnancyThere are many reasons why a woman would choose to terminate a pregnancy. Maybe the baby has a severe anomaly that is not compatible with life. Maybe she has a medical condition that may kill her in labor. Maybe she wants to go to college or achieve other goals first. Maybe she was a victim of rape. Maybe she's not in a place right now where she can even take care of herself in pregnancy. Unless you've been there, you shouldn't judge.
- •Not having a baby by 35 years oldAlmost every woman knows that their chances of conceiving and then delivering a healthy baby drops after 35 years old. Some women weren't ready yet. Some never wanted kids to begin with. It's no one's place to pass judgement. And no, telling me I'd "better get on it" is not helpful. 😡
- •Deciding not to have kidsThere is more to life than having children. I know, it's weird that an OB/GYN would say so, but it's true. Being able to have a baby should not define a woman as a person. Some of the most amazing women I know have decided not to have kids. It's a personal choice people should respect.
- •Asking for what they wantIt's unfortunate that women are still viewed as "bitchy" or "aggressive" when they speak up for themselves. What century is this??
- •Ordering dessertSometimes you just need dessert! Not as heavy of a decision as the rest, but damn if there isn't a lot of inner turmoil involved for me. 😁