Had a ridiculous overnight call shift at the county hospital the other night. Luckily, I had an excellent team!
  1. "There must be a special on meth tonight."
    After we admitted our 3rd pregnant patient with meth + Urine Tox screen.
  2. "This is the second time in 30 minutes I've gotten blood up my forearm."
    When you just put on sterile gloves because you underestimate how far in the vagina and uterus you have to go. There should be opera glove length options.
  3. "Is it time for nachos?"
    Nachos makes everyone feel better.
  4. "The general surgeon delivered a patient in triage while he was seeing a consult in the next bed over."
    Literally, no OBs available!
  5. "Have I been walking around with blood on my pants all night??"