I wish he was at my commencement ceremony!
  1. If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16.. she's 12. If she tells you she's 26, and LOOKS 26.. she's damn near 40.
  2. If you've been dating a man for four months and you haven't met any of his friends...you are NOT his girlfriend!
  3. Don't go to parties with metal detectors.
  4. Cornbread! Ain't nothin' wrong with that.
  5. Take off that silly-ass hat.
  6. No one goes to Hooters for wings.