CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE (IN TELEVISION PRODUCTION)

This is like the Choose Your Own Adventure books, where I always feel like I chose the fate that ended with me sinking in quicksand.
  1. 1.
    You graduate from college and decide you want a career in TV production. Fun! Do you move to California or stick it out in your home state's big city?
    Move to Cali: go to 15. Stay put: go to 33
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    πŸ“ΊπŸ“ΊπŸ“Ί
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  4. 4.
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  5. 5.
    You get the job! Having more experience was worth the wait. The crew loves you and you get to spend the rest of yours days engaging in shenanigans in exotic locations. 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
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  8. 8.
    Congratulations! You got the job of associate producer for the local news! You have attached yourself to one of the fastest sinking ships in America! You're NOT going to make it after all. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
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  11. 11.
    You are NOT a quitter! Fuck the network and the host, you are going to get them on a conference call and then let them duke it out. During this free time you've created for yourself, you could either run out for a coffee break or catch up on extra work.
    Coffee run: go to 31. Work more: 19.
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  15. 15.
    You move to California and immediately die from smog and phoniness. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
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  19. 19.
    Thank god you stayed! You vaguely overhear the network exec talking to you through the receiver you've set down on your desk. He and the host have worked things out and he congratulates you for doing such a great negotiating job. Your boss is so impressed she offers you the position of executive producer!
    Take the job: go to 64. Keep your job: got to 67.
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  21. 21.
    You bought a banana sling and it was the correct guess! Phew! Now you are ordered to go get bagels for a production meeting with the host. Your evil boss tells you to get a variety of bagels but no onion ones. No one likes those. Do you buy some just to spite her?
    Buy onion bagels: go to 39. Obey Satan: go to 41.
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  26. 26.
    You are now an associate producer. You mostly make phone calls but one day you are given the opportunity to go on location to help out on set. What do you do?
    Go on location to Madagascar: go to 49. Stay in the office: go to 37.
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  29. 29.
    You've killed two people. You are going to fucking jail. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
  30. 30.
    πŸ“ΊπŸ“ΊπŸ“Ί
  31. 31.
    You fool! There is not such thing as a "break" for you! You miss 1 million emails while away from your desk and are fired. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
  32. 32.
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  33. 33.
    You decide to do a job search right where you are! There's a low-level position at a local news station available and a slightly lower-level position at a company that produces a cable survival show.
    Apply for the news: go to 8. Apply for the cable show: go to 69.
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  35. 35.
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  36. 36.
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  37. 37.
    Making phone calls and talking to all kinds of people is fun and you're really good at it! But eventually you want more. Now having more experience, you can apply for a field producer job, or attempt to become a show runner.
    Producer out in the field: go to 5. Producer in office: go to 45.
  38. 38.
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  39. 39.
    Your boss is unhappy with you but after the host devours all the onion bagels you are forgiven. You take this opportunity to go for a promotion! Do you ask for the position directly above yours or take a chance and audition to be the host on a new series the company is developing?
    Audition: go to 55. Climb the ladder: go to 26.
  40. 40.
    πŸ“ΊπŸ“ΊπŸ“Ί
  41. 41.
    You purchase the bagels. Since you saved a little time from not ordering extra food you go for a short walk before returning to work. You fall into quicksand. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
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  45. 45.
    You get the job as a show runner! (Getting promoted is easy!) You quickly realize this job is much harder than you thought. You are now in charge of adhering to both the demands of the sociopathic host and the network, which are in constant opposition. Who do you side with?
    Side with the host: go to 61. Side with the network: go to 61.
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  48. 48.
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  49. 49.
    You are excited to be on set and boss around the riff raff in the crew. You quickly realize you have no idea what you're doing out there and make enemies by trying to be in charge anyway. You are left behind when everyone else leaves for the airport. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
  50. 50.
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  51. 51.
    Sometimes walking away is the hardest option. But you are so glad you did. You go back to your old job working at a pet hotel. It doesn't pay shit but you are happy and animals actually appreciate you. 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
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  55. 55.
    OMG! You got the gig and are officially the talent! Your first day on set you remind yourself to be humble and always remember what it was likeβ€”WHAT THE FUCK?!! You said you wanted PEANUT M&Ms! Not PEANUT BUTTER M&MS!!! Who do you kill?
    Kill the production assistant: go to 29. Kill the makeup artist (who was nearby): also go to 29.
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  57. 57.
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  58. 58.
    The host is very pleasant on the phone and you get which style he wants. Then two of your superiors chew you out hard-core for bothering him. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
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  60. 60.
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  61. 61.
    You literally cannot win this one. Both the network and host hate you. Do you give in and quit, or stick with it?
    Lay down and die: go to 51. Never surrender: go to 11.
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  63. 63.
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  64. 64.
    Congratulations! You are now an executive producer! This means your main duties are to kiss the CEO's ass and offer up a lot of worthless suggestions just to make it look like you're doing something. You've made it! 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
  65. 65.
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  66. 66.
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  67. 67.
    Why would you do this?!!! You are so stressed out and die an early death. πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€
  68. 68.
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  69. 69.
    You secure the job as a production assistant for the survival show. You are informed the host of your program has called and he needs a swim suit for an upcoming show, but you don't know which style he wants. What do you do?
    Call and ask him: go to 58. Guess: go to 21.