HARRY POTTER 18 YEARS LATER: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
To get you all prepared for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, I've put together a very thoroughly researched and highly factual update of what all our favorite characters are doing almost two decades after the battle of Hogwarts. (Thanks for the idea, @ktexcelsior)
- •HarryStill an auror (which turned out to be a lot more paperwork and office politics than he imagined) who annoyingly named all his children after dead friends, he continues to do many interviews about You Know Who, where he states he's glad it's all over while secretly wishing Lord V would come back again and save him from his mundane life.
- •HermoineDivorced Ron because he's a loser and a slob. Is now happily married to George. She is the youngest headmaster Hogwarts has ever had.
- •RonSits around in a dirty wife beater regretting not getting a job and holding on to the coolest chick on earth. Throws darts at a picture of George, which has ripped just enough to see through to an old picture of Viktor Krum underneath.
- •GeorgeWeasley's Wizard Wheezes is now a global franchise and George has become a beloved politician in the muggle world. Everyone assumes he lost his ear in Afghanistan or something. His ability to unite both political parties people claim "is like magic."
- •FredWishing he'd known Lady Milesandre. Do you think she could bring back an owl?
- •GinnyBook Ginny is still married to Harry and is a fellow Auror. Movie Ginny choked on a fish bone. 💀
- •HagridHas founded an animal sanctuary. It's wildly successful and he is proud to say the death toll for visitors has been kept to a minimum.
- •Dean ThomasDecided he needed a break from the magical world and left for America to attend law school.
- •Seamus FinniganWho cares.
- •Draco MalfoyIs working his way up the corporate ladder. All his employees hate their lives.
- •Molly WeasleyV. worried about Ron. Still regretting Percy.
- •Arthur WeasleyConstantly pestering George about what the purpose behind a podium is.
- •Neville LongbottomA revered scientist/doctor working on magical plant extracts to cure the mentally insane. Was February in the shirtless doctors calendar.
- •Luna LovegoodMinister of Magic. On a very strict supplement routine from her doctor and friend Neville.
- •Professor McGonagallRetired. Not giving a fuck.