I'll bet you can't tell! For anyone who doesn't know "the Hotwives" is a Real Housewives parody on Hulu. It is hilarious and disturbingly accurate.
  1. Would you trust a girl that has bigger tits than her head?
  2. I love a pimps and hos party!
  3. Your blood type is pinot grigio.
  4. I'm trying to follow in the footsteps of Fergie, or Pink, or Christina Aguilera.
  5. I want her to move to West Africa. Like, in that city where Ebola started.
  6. I stopped talking to her because she tweeted that I was a psychopath.
  7. I've never had any plastic surgery. I've had implants and Botox but that's not plastic surgery.
  8. I'm like a cockroach. You can't get rid of me.
  9. I'm like a slot machine: pull my arm and the truth comes out. Jackpot!!!
  10. There is nothing like getting your vadge and butthole waxed to bring women closer together.
  11. I really hope you don't go to hell. Cause you're so pretty.
  12. She suffers from a very rare disease. It's called "full-of-shit-itis.
  13. Some people say that's an honorary title without real power. I don't subscribe to that.
  14. She hurted me. For no reason.
  15. We're so close. We are like Siamese cats.
  16. I'm just going to be drinking all day and all night. Otherwise I'll be bored.
  17. "I don't want to take away from your day." "Thank you, but it's too late."
  18. I am very rich, bitch!!!
  19. I'm an outdoorsy person. I like laying out in the sun.
  20. My husband’s hung like a f—king donkey, but I do not go around telling people that.
  21. Checkmate, bitch.
  22. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, STILL shame on you!