These are the things I hope and dream for my Ex's life.
  1. I hope that he can never enjoy watching the delightful cinematic wonder that is Disney's Fox and Hound.
  2. I hope that he can never find a chicken tetrazzini as perfect as the one that I make, cheesy, not too many mushrooms and just a touch of cooking sherry.
  3. I hope that he can never listen to the late great Notorious BIG ever ever again, he's all mine now.
  4. I hope he can never step foot inside the Magic Kingdom (Disneyland) ever again and enjoy all the wonders from the cinnamon crusted churros to the exciting adventure that is the log ride. Especially when you stay until close and just keep running through over and over until drenched and running back to the room in the warm California night air!!!
  5. I hope that at least once a week he gets itchy bum bum after number two....even thought he feels like he wiped really well. There's nothing worse.
  6. I hope he never enjoys another firework on the Fourth of July! I hope even the snakes and sparklers are duds and his baked beans burned!
  7. I hope that he never has another delicious homemade birthday cake, or receives a fantastic gift like a watch.
  8. I hope above all else that the mention of my name in his presence causes immediate and unexplained painful gas. These are my hopes for my ex.
  9. I hope that all his underwear get shrunk just enough to be uncomfortable ALL THE TIME!