Thoughts That Went Through My Head During My First Spin Class

I will never like exercise. Period.
  1. Upon arrival
    I'm feeling good. Got my Ivy Park poppin, my hair is in a perfect workout bun, got my friend with me for support/commiseration.Lets do this!
  2. Meeting the instructor
    She is super nice! She is a tiny little ginger who shows us how to adjust our bikes and even helps me clip in with these weird shoes you have to wear. Should I buy my own shoes (since I'm obviously going to love this and become a regular)
  3. Warming up
    Feeling good and taking selfies. This isn't too bad.
  4. Resistance
    Sweet teacher nicely instructs us to turn this cute candy colored knob on our bikes and suddenly I'm pedaling up a mountain. Um, wait, what?!
  5. Stand up, sit down, pass out
    For the next 45 minutes we go through a series of hand positions, standing up and sitting down and sticking your butt out or tucking it in. OMG, I am never going to stop sweating. Can everyone hear me breathing/wheezing?
  6. Isolations
    This move was obviously thought up by crazy torture experts. You have to stand up and pedal while keeping your upper body still. Only your legs are moving. With resistance. Slowly. Ouch! Ooooouch.
  7. Home stretch
    This is where sweet ginger goes beast mode and runs us through everything one more time at double speed. If I pass out at least I won't fall off this bike since my feet are literally bolted to it. This song is so f#%*ing long. Sweating. So. Much.
  8. Cool down
    We're still moving and I'm still sweating.
  9. Stretch
    OMG, my legs are like jelly. How can I walk out of here like a normal person with these wibbely wobbly legs. Ok, just play it cool.
  10. I did it!
    Made it to the car, yes! I wonder if I burned enough calories to cancel out a frappacino? Probably not.
  11. Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get you?
    I deserve this