Reasons why trains are better than planes

  1. They've been around longer
    Nothing like a little hipster cred as the primary argument.
  2. No assigned seats
    Except for those luxury trains, but I'm assuming my readers are proletariats like me, missing out on these luxuries.
  3. Using the bathroom isn't a game of Russian Roulette
    I personally avoid using the airplane bathrooms, because I'd rather not die trapped in a box thousands of feet in the sky surrounded by shit and piss.
  4. Cheaper
    (For local transportation, I'm aware that long journeys on an Amtrak can be more expensive than a plane ride to the same place)
  5. No flight attendants or fasten seatbelt signs
  6. No TSA screening before boarding
    (Don't get any ideas TSA)
  7. Turbulence is almost completely non-existent
  8. Train stops usually more common and accessible than airports
  9. You can pay for your ticket on the train
    (Even though it's a giant scam)
  10. Views from a train window> views from a plane window.
    The whole "oh wow everything's so small" loses its appeal once you've done a cross continental or long international flight. Train views are like watching a movie of the drive to your destination
  11. There's a ton of fantastic train heist movies, yet airplane heist movies won't exist in a post 911 America.
    (Thanks Obama) jk (Thanks radical monotheism) jk (Thanks Cheney)