QUOTES FROM MY COWORKER
This is a list that was started years ago, before @list existed. My coworker is basically the dad in American Pie and ten times more awkward. I will continue to update this list. He does not know it exists and I am pretty sure he has a Jitter Bug.
- •"So I bent over and the doctor says, 'oh I think I've found something.....wait! It's just a piece of tissue!"This was said while on the phone with someone about a recent doctor visit in which the doctor was concerned there was an issue with his rear. This is now known in the office as "The Tissue Issue."
- •"I like your earrings! Want to know why? They remind me of fishing lures."A compliment I received one day. Every girl wants to know that they could go catch a striped bass at a moments notice, right?
- •"Ooooh! You're wearing the blue dress and yellow cardigan! I love when you wear that. My old ex-girlfriend wore the same colors."So I remind him of his ex-girlfriend. Excellent.
- •"Oh! Is he constipated?"No explanation needed.
- •"One time I drank my wife's breast milk because I thought it was regular milk."Who does that? Also, shouldn't you be familiar with the container your milk comes in?
- •"I proposed to my wife at the Wisconsin Playboy Club."And she said yes????