TOP FIVE TIMES I WAS IN THE MOST PAIN

Inspired by my thumb ail currently separating from the nail bed. And although this does not make the top five, it has caused me to reflect.
  1. 1.
    Partially tearing my quad and pulling both hip flexors, all at the same time.
    Reasons I shouldn't play sports but still attempt to do may need to be another list.
  2. 2.
    Splitting the back of my head open when I was four or five by falling backwards into a metal doorframe.
    The doorframe won.
  3. 3.
    The first time I split my knee open after I drank too many Big Girl Margaritas and decided to fight the curb.
    The curb won.
  4. 4.
    The second time I split the same knee open because I decided to assault the driveway and fall out of the side door onto the driveway.
    The driveway won.
  5. 5.
    The third time I split the same knee open because I wore platform shoes to work and was unaware that a paved parking contained rocks.
    I looked like a gazelle being taken down by a cheetah in the Serengeti. And I immediately went home. Oh, and the parking lot won.