13 Incredible Things John Hodgman Said in Our Interview, Taken Out of Context

Of course, if you'd like some context, you can read our full, delightful 11 Questions interview with the delightful man at http://avc.lu/1Vz9gH9
  1. “You wouldn’t want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own geodetic dome full of your jumpsuited followers.”
  2. “The worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You’re afraid to quit."
  3. “I don’t remember last year."
  4. “You don’t understand Rush Limbaugh’s appeal to listeners until you are standing alone on a street corner, freezing and angry. Then, even though he might be saying things that are completely anathema to your social and political point of view, when you are that angry, his voice comes upon you like a bomb."
  5. “All of a sudden, this weird man-baby—then in his middle 30s—is on television? Who would allow that to happen with my weak chin and lazy eye? Then I added a mustache on top—well not on top of the lazy eye; that would be a weird, thick eyebrow."
  6. “I’m not sure I want to be quoted talking about Scientology
  7. “I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I’m still terrible at it and I hate it; even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.”
  8. “Everything we make in life, eventually, is sold for a dollar or a penny or given away; it’s not simply given away.”
  9. "I am not a villain. You know what I mean? I’m an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination; what a hassle that would be!”
  10. “You realize after many years that the guys at the dump don’t really care where your garbage is coming from.”
  11. “A train is on tracks; you know where that’s going. But a bus, you get one wrong guy, one mad man behind the wheel, that bus could go anywhere in life. I can’t handle that.”
  12. “People draw a lot of comparisons to all of the round-faced, mustached men of entertainment that make me cringe and sick to my stomach about how the world really sees me and they’re right.”
  13. "By rights, I should be dead in a gutter right now.”