26 Ways to Spend Retirement, From Shooting Heroin to Shooting Yourself Into Space

Who said retiring means you have to be boring? In celebration of Golden Girls' 30th anniversary, we look at pop-culture-approved activities for your golden years.
  1. Float your home to the Amazon with a ton of balloons
    As seen in: Up
  2. Hook up with someone much, much younger
    As seen in: Last Vegas, Something's Gotta Give, and many more
  3. Curse your way through the cemetary
    As seen in: Nebraska
  4. Avenge your best friend's death
    As seen in: Harry Brown
  5. Devote yourself to fixing all your family's problems via intense KFC product placement
    As seen in: Around The Bend
  6. Move your dog and your favorite chair into your son's high-end condo
    As seen in: Frasier
  7. Play a children's game with your friends until you're all younger versions of yourself
    As seen in: The Twilight Zone and Twilight Zone: The Movie
  8. Develop a heroin habit
    As seen in: Little Miss Sunshine
  9. Fight an undead Egyptian demon
    As seen in: Bubba Ho-Tep
  10. Get involved in an affluent Upper West Side satanic cult
    As seen in: Rosemary's Baby
  11. Ride a lawnmower on a 240-mile trip to mend ties with your estranged brother
    As seen in: The Straight Story
  12. Ditch your upcoming fishing trip so you can hunt down a child-murderer
    As seen in: The Pledge
  13. Discover alien pods that give you a new lease on life
    As seen in: Cocoon
  14. Mentor your replacement
    As seen in: Star Wars, Batman Beyond, Bull Durham, A League Of Their Own, Kingpin, Creed, and more
  15. Cash out, buy a Winnebago, drive the open roads - avoiding Vegas, preferably
    As seen in: Lost In America
  16. Go to space with your old pilot friends
    As seen in: Space Cowboys
  17. Deal coke
    As seen in: Atlantic City
  18. Plan one last caper with three other retired mobsters so you can save your apartment
    As seen in: The Crew
  19. Teach a young boy how to love life, then give it up
    As seen in: Harold And Maude
  20. Write complaint letters about depictions of the elderly in the media
    As seen in: The Simpsons
  21. Move in with a bunch of your divorced or widowed pals
    As seen in: The Golden Girls, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and more
  22. Play magical Christ figure to another culture while still being a huge racist
    As seen in: Gran Torino
  23. Apply your lifetime of experience to a new field
    As seen in: Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul
  24. Rob a bank
    As seen in: Going In Style
  25. Get betrayed by your government, blow up everything in sight
    As seen in: RED
  26. Live off of - and possibly get killed by - the U.S. Government
    As seen in: My Fellow Americans