It’s a little unsettling to realize just how many of pop culture's seemingly beautiful expressions of love are downright disturbing when you take a step back and consider them with an objective eye.
  1. Take over your preteen’s school speech to explain how much you love your ex: Cal Weaver (Steve Carell), Crazy, Stupid, Love
  2. Use your superpowers to stalk your girlfriend: Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), The Amazing Spider-Man 2
  3. Sneak into her bedroom to stare at the human you’re obsessed with while she sleeps: Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), Twilight
  4. Travel back in time to an era without modern medicine, electronics, or equal rights for women: Kate McKay (Meg Ryan), Kate & Leopold
  5. Fly to London to “fight” for the woman you’ve only known for two weeks who said “thank you” after you told her you love her: Ross Geller (David Schwimmer), Friends
  6. Construct a completely false identity: Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy), Coming To America
  7. Break into song in the back of a kindergarten classroom, then slowly walk to the front, ignoring requests to stop: Nathan Huffner (Rick Moranis), Parenthood
  8. Save the king’s life so he’ll force the object of your affections to marry you against his will; pretend to be another woman so he’ll have sex with you, thinking you’re her; fake your own death, then return to break up his wedding: Helena, All’s Well That Ends Well
  9. Trick her into loving someone else and lie about it after that guy dies so she spends the rest of her life as an unhappy widow: Cyrano, Cyrano De Bergerac
  10. Write an ostensibly romantic song that is actually a straight-up stalker confessional: Unnamed narrator, “Every Breath You Take,” The Police
  11. Agree to kill your best friend in a duel: Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing
  12. Completely toss your persona to remake your image into your boyfriend’s ideal babe in black leather: Sandy (Olivia Newton-John), Grease
  13. Secretly film someone inside their bedroom, then spell their name out in fire beneath her window: Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley), American Beauty
  14. Cancel your wedding to a guy after you tricked his whole family into thinking you were his fiancée while he was in a coma: Lucy Moderatz (Sandra Bullock), While You Were Sleeping
  15. Instantly decide a woman walking by is “the one” even though you can’t tell her apart from other women walking by, then become her teacher so you can exploit the power imbalance to insinuate yourself into her life: Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams), Good Morning, Vietnam
  16. Ambush your crush in your basement with an impromptu rendition of “Lady”: Nick Andopolis (Jason Segel), Freaks And Geeks
  17. Hire a prostitute, then paternalistically try to take care of her: Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), Pretty Woman
  18. Reveal your feelings in a national newspaper and challenge the object of your affection to kiss you for the first time in a baseball field in front of thousands: Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore), Never Been Kissed
  19. Meticulously construct an entire day’s worth of conversation in order to win someone over: Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog Day
  20. Commit yourself to a never-ending war on evil in order to impress a pretty 15-year-old: Angel (David Boreanaz), Buffy The Vampire Slayer
  21. Hire a professional ladies man to help you romance a crush via information obtained through stalking: Albert Brennaman (Kevin James), Hitch
  22. Spend your one day on leave in New York City chasing a girl you’ve never met all over town based on her “Miss Turnstiles” poster: Gabey (Gene Kelly), On The Town
  23. Fall in love “at first sight” and basically stalk a young French woman until she agrees to spend her life with you: Jerry (Gene Kelly), An American In Paris
  24. Fly cross-country, dig up parks, and generally tear everything up searching for your ex’s locket because it would make the perfect “you should be with me” present for her wedding to your close friend: Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor), How I Met Your Mother
  25. Stand outside your ex’s window, holding a boom box over your head, blasting the song that was playing when you first slept with her: Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), Say Anything…
  26. Go to your best friend’s house to silently stand in front of the door while holding up signs declaring your love for your best friend’s wife while Christmas carols play: Mark (Andrew Lincoln), Love Actually
  27. Learn Portuguese to propose to your maid who you’ve never really spoken with and have only known for a few weeks: Jamie (Colin Firth), Love, Actually
  28. Dodge airport security to ambush your crush at her gate despite her never having never shown any interest in you before: Sam (Thomas Sangster), Love, Actually
    Ok, so Love, Actually is pretty damn creepy when you think about it.