MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE

  1. Instagram filters
  2. Coordinating the twins' outfits
    Not matching, obviously. That'd be tacky.
  3. Bikram yoga
  4. Charity event planning
    I love giving back.
  5. Brazilian hair treatments
  6. Knowing how recently a woman has waxed when she's peeing in a stall next to me
  7. Infant legging design
    My etsy shop is just a little side project, but it pays the mortgage!
  8. Artisanal gluten free cupcakes
  9. Diamond authenticity
    I can always tell when they're not real, but I never say anything (to them), of course.
  10. Master cleansing