Shocking Realities of the Day After a Long Holiday Weekend

Is this for real?
  1. I am still hungry
  2. The dog sitter spoiled my dog into expecting a 5:30am walk
  3. People had already begun to email me whilst I was walking aforementioned dog
  4. There is no school (WTF people that is cruel and unusual punishment)
  5. I gave the sitter/driver/homework helper the day off before I looked at the school calendar
  6. I now have three 13 year old boys at my house (because mine volunteered me)
  7. Astrology Zone says this would be a great day to collaborate on important projects (sure how?!?!)
  8. There are birds in my bakery