1. I got this app less than twelve hours ago
  2. A lot of my friends aren't on it YET
  3. I'm only following like 20 people and let's be real, they're not following me back because they have tons of followers
  4. I'm hilarious and brilliant but highly underrated in my own time
  5. I haven't followed my one follower back YET. Follow up: I followed the follower.