It's not all glamor, you know.
  1. "Help me update my iPhone" (30 minute explanation about how to free up space on your phone, only to find out it is a 3GS, unable to run anything after iOS 5)
  2. "Can I ask you a quick question" (4 hours of discussion about the difference between hard drives and memory)
  3. "I have a great app idea" (1 hour discussion about how everyone with a phone will want it, because there is no way to share contact information with people you meet)
  4. "My Internet is slow" (30 minute conversation about how it is not THEIR Internet, and they should probably call an ISP)
  5. "My computer told me it had a virus, and I had to buy a virus scanner for it for $399" - This used to be my mom, until I bought her a Mac and locked it down like Fort Knox.
  6. "I have an incredible idea for a website" (1 hour discussion about a website idea that isn't actually bad, but they have no money, need me to do it for free, and will give me 1% of the company because, you know, it was their idea.
  7. "Can you fix my printer?" (2 minute conversation that consists of me telling them to throw it out and NOT buy another one)
  8. "The person at the Apple Store told me to try x. Why didn't you just tell me to try x?"
    Debilitating, one-sided 7 minute conversation during which they deride you for not having suggested something during the 60 minute life suck that was your previous attempt to help...even though that's ex-f'n-actly what you had suggested and they confirmed that they had done.
    Suggested by @NoahGeisel