Books That Changed My Life (That I Also Have Not Read)

  1. Atlas shrugged
    Simply learning how to pronounce "ayn" correctly can make you the hit of any dinner party. For extra points mumble something about Ron Paul at one point having had a good point.
  2. Catcher in the Rye
    I missed my window! Hey new age feel goodery never made us read it! Thought I was in the clear until book played a huge part of the Mel Gibson / Saundra bullock film conspiracy theory. Luckily there was no thematic connection (I'm told. Again haven't read)
  3. Kite Runner
    Still waiting on the movie. "Wait- what's that? they made a movie?" Nm. "Also it's 'The Kite Runner'" totally. That makes more sense.
  4. He's Just Not That into You
    Finally! A horrible catchphrase to ruin the year 2005!!
  5. The Davinci Code
    Okay this one I have technically "looked at the words on the pages from start to finish" but somewhat light nature of prose shouldn't count as reading, technically. How did it change my life? JESUS HAD A KID y'all!!!!!