[Not intended to be hateful! Male / female we are all ridiculous and all just looking for happiness (?) companion to @stamos 's much better piece!]
  1. The Where's Waldo - "I'm one of the 12 girls in this picture but you'll never guess which!"
  2. The Contradiction - "I'm finally at a point where I'm open to life and ready to meet that person who just accepts me for who I am. Don't message if you're under 5'10" "
  3. The Lustful Wanderer- "Look at all these places around the world I've traveled to with the explicit purpose of jumping up in the air and taking a picture. This need to escape in no way reflects an inability to tackle adult life."
  4. The Turing Test - "Its clear from the stilted, non-sensual way I'm responding to ur messages that I'm not an actual person. I'm either a Russian 'bot' trying to steal your social security number or a viral marketing campaign for The Mindy Project."
  5. The Perfect Match(?)- "The effortless way I wear this fedora gives you the confidence that you could do the same. My perfectly curated set of photos gives us the (dangerous) expectation that we can perfectly curate our lives. 2 relationships from now I will realize this. 4 now, u wanna grab brunch?"