TIMES I'VE LAUGHED AT SOMEONE GETTING HURT

I'm sorry I can't control it! I promise I'm not a bad person.
  1. The time my ex fell of a stage
    He was a lead singer in a band. While on our second date he was asked to come on stage and sing. After singing he turn to leave the stage tripped over a monitor and fell into the crowd. I'm still laughing.
  2. The time my sister came home with a broken nose.
    She took a softball to the face. Her nose was visibly crooked. My mom told me to go to my room.
  3. The time I walked into pole while boarding the Metro
    See I can laugh at myself
  4. The time my husband slipped down the stairs of our icy deck and hit his head.
    It was early in the morning & we had just had a snow storm. Both our male & female (who we had just taken in as a stray) lab were outside. Suddenly we hear loud pitched crying. My husband runs & and falls. Turns out the female was in heat & our male mounted her & got stuck. Eventually everyone relaxed, all was well & we had puppies a few months later. Also, everyone got a "special" visit to the vet. No more puppies.
  5. The time I was walking along with my mom having a serious chat and she disappeared.
    We were walking down the street and I look away for a moment. When I look back she is gone. She had tripped & fell in a ditch. Not even my mother is safe. What is wrong with me!?