GUIDE TO THE CHARACTERS OF ‘THE FORCE AWAKENS’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the 'Star War's series, 'The Force Awakens,' which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens.'
  1. Finn: The film’s unlikely hero. Because he’s a Stormtrooper, not any racist reasons.
  2. Kylo Ren: An extremely powerful villain with the ability to transform himself into countless internet commenters’ avatars
  3. Rey: She’s the orphan in this one
  4. Poe Dameron: X-Wing fighter pilot who spends the film under military board review following the accidental bombing of an Ewok wedding
  5. Captain Phasma: Character who will almost certainly march down an aisle between two massive formations of Stormtroopers
  6. BB-8: An adorable droid that contains the black box recording of X-Wing 322’s final terrifying moments
  7. Admiral Goop: Commander of the Sludge Resistance
  8. R2-D2: Retired astromech droid reluctantly pulled back into the game for one last score
  9. C-3PO: A far more fully developed character than in previous films, the humanoid robot’s name is finally revealed in the new trilogy to stand for Chris 3PO
  10. Han Solo: The galactic smuggler returns with a silent 30-second pause during every shot he appears in to account for moviegoers’ cheering
  11. Outer Space: In many ways, outer space is so important to The Force Awakens that it’s a character in the film in its own right
  12. Leia Organa: A veteran of the Resistance from a time in intergalactic history when sexism could be a little more overt
  13. Chewbacca: Token Wookiee character
  14. Luke Skywalker: Seriously, where is he in the trailers? What does this mean? He went to the dark side, didn’t he? Oh, man, we knew it. We fucking knew it.