1. Campaign Promise: Will turn America into an opulent destination for only the most exclusive citizens
  2. Campaign Slogan: “I’m Going To Do This Every Four Years Until I Die”
  3. Potential Liability: American people may not yet be progressive enough to elect mentally ill man
  4. Vision For Presidency: 50 Miss USA finalists lined up along White House portico
  5. Are We Just Enabling Him: Yes