THOSE WE LOST IN 2015

  1. David Carr: The acclaimed writer died this year alongside his beloved investigative journalism.
  2. Jackie Collins: The romance novelist passed away at the age of 77, her breasts heaving with cancer.
  3. Ernie Banks: The Chicago Cubs legend died of a heart attack in January, and will thus sadly never see his team’s fans drunkenly vandalize and urinate on his statue outside of Wrigley Field once they finally win a World Series.
  4. Cecil The Lion: People around the world mourned in July as Cecil became the first wild animal ever to be killed.
  5. Stuart Scott: The beloved sportscaster was tragically survived by ESPN.
  6. Bobbi Kristina Brown: The 22-year-old passed away in July of complications from being in Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s family.
  7. Yogi Berra: Known for his distilled bits of wisdom, the Hall of Fame catcher gave the world one final “Yogi-ism“ before he passed away in September: “I’m so scared, oh my God! I am not ready to die! Please don’t let me die!"
  8. John Nash: The Nobel winner passed away in May despite the likelihood of his death occurring in a car crash while riding in a taxi in New Jersey being roughly 1 in 87 million according to the conditional probability density function h(x).
  9. Mario Cuomo: The governor of New York from 1983 to 1994, Mario Cuomo is widely considered to have put New York on the map, turning it into one of the most prominent states in the country.
  10. Vincent Bugliosi: On June 6, the famed Manson family prosecutor died, just like all the little piggies, oink oink, piggies to the slaughter.
  11. Leonard Nimoy: The legendary 'Star Trek' actor died in February without ever letting us know if he liked that painting we did of him taking a bite out of Mirror Spock’s skull.
  12. Terrence Kennedy, Alexander Kennedy, Alicia Kennedy, Timothy Kennedy, Brian Kennedy, Christine Kennedy, Joyce Kennedy, Mark Kennedy, Scott Kennedy, Ivy Kennedy, Grace Kennedy, Vincent Kennedy, Wayne Kennedy, Luke Kennedy, Eric Kennedy, Roberta “Birdie“ Kennedy, Liv Kennedy, Daniel Kennedy, Walter Kennedy, William Kennedy: These lesser-known members