TIPS FOR GETTING OUT OF DEBT
Here are The Onion’s tips for getting out of debt quickly and painlessly
- •First, to discourage impulsive spending, cut up all your credit cards and paper money.
- •Make your assorted debts more manageable by spreading them out over several false identities.
- •Organization is key. Make a spreadsheet to neatly list all your minimum payments, interest rates, and remaining unfractured kneecaps.
- •Find inspiration in someone whose credit score you admire and tape their photo to the front of your wallet.
- •Ask credit card issuers for a lower rate on your balances. It’s likely they were unaware that you would prefer to owe them less money.
- •Look for everyday ways to reduce expenses. For instance, the average American saves $3,000 per year simply by switching to blended scotch.
- •Set up autopay options to consistently overdraft in a timely fashion.
- •Use cash for purchases instead of credit. If you don’t have cash, borrow a bunch from friends and family.
- •Remember, you are more than just your credit score. You are the sum total of misguided decisions and assorted demographic factors that earned you that score.