2 Foolproof Recipes for Ugly Christmas Sweaters

A pattern has emerged during my ugly sweater shopping and I had to share with the good people of Li.st. I personally guarantee if you set up shop with these formulas you'll have a 3.8 star OR HIGHER average rating on Amazon. The people eat these sweaters 🆙
  1. First Recipe // the Santa Sweater
  2. Step (1). Include a Mooning Santa Claus.
  3. (1a). Mooning Gifting Santa
  4. (1b). Mooning Snowy Santa
  5. Step (2). Include a Naked Santa Claus.
  6. (2a). Naked Alcoholic Santa Claus
  7. (2b). Naked Seductive Santa Claus
  8. (2c). Naked Savage Santa Claus
  9. Step (3). Make him visibly use the bathroom.
  10. (3a). Rooftop Urinating Santa
  11. (3b). Snowfall Urinating Santa
  12. (3c). Dumping Santa
  13. Step (4). $$$
  14. Second Recipe // the Snowman Sweater
  15. Step (1). Include Snowman
  16. Step (2). Redesign Snowman to appear charming and hip
  17. Step (3). Give Snowman snow-man body image issues
  18. (3a). Neurotic Snowman
  19. (3b). Self Conscious Snowman
  20. (3c). Overly Compensating Snowman
  21. Step (4). Animals lose control of their faculties around Snowman
  22. (4a). Dog Urinating on Snowman
  23. (4b). Reindeer Vomiting on Snowman
  24. (4c). Dog Urinating on Snowman (For Dogs)
  25. Step (5). $$$