GREATER LAKES

America's big drinks would be well served with millennial-conscious rebrandings
  1. Lake Ontario ⏩ Lake Lil TerRio
    The "Oooh Kill Em" lake
  2. Lake Superior ⏩ Lake Slurpee-ior
    The "mostly syrup" lake
  3. Lake Erie ⏩ Lake Eric
    The "Great Job" lake
  4. Lake Michigan ⏩ Lake Miss Independent
    The "Ne-Yo paid more for the rights than Kelly Clarkson" lake
  5. Lake Huron ⏩ Lake Hurley
    The "Blitzzzzzz" lake